Breaking up is hard to do.

medication, ptsd

I’m considering “breaking up” with my current psychiatrist, and it’s a tougher decision to make than I’d anticipated.

I like her as a person, but I feel as though we’re not meshing that well on the doctor-patient front. My depression has been particularly difficult to get a handle on, and treatments that previously worked (like Cymbalta) have suddenly stopped helping for no apparent reason. Yesterday, I called and left a message for her with my third request for an increase in my Effexor dose.

The first time, I was told to be patient and give it more time. When I met with her the week after I went to the ER for my panic attack and pleaded my case (since missing a dose and having a dose that was probably too low to begin with kicked off that whole mess), she added risperidone and told me she didn’t want to increase the Effexor until we’d given the other drug a chance to work.

It’s been a few weeks and the only thing the antipsychotic has done is make me even more drowsy than usual–I’m like the goddamn Dormouse to begin with, and the only change is that now I’m really sleepy on top of being really depressed. And in my desperation, I’ve found myself turning to some pretty unhealthy methods of coping with the low-mood-negative-thoughts-constantly-wanting-to-cry thing.

I called the office again today to see if my message had gotten through; after I gave the doctor filling in a quick (probably 30 second) summary of what’s been going on, she agreed to call in a small increase to see if it helps. It might not; I might need to try another drug. But at least I felt like my concerns were being heard.

I feel like my regular doctor and I have had this disconnect for a while now, and I plan to address it at our next appointment. She’s not a bad doctor by any stretch of the imagination, though there’s a pretty clear class divide between us (she suggested Weight Watchers, which is too expensive to even contemplate, when I expressed concern/anxiety over my weight, and has recommended name-brand drugs and alternative medicine that I can’t afford multiple times, despite me repeatedly telling her that our budget’s tight as it is–therapy is expensive) and I think that’s causing some issues.

I tend to avoid conflict at all costs, so it’s going to be tough for me to broach the subject. But I feel like she really knows her stuff, so I don’t want to just “dump” her. I want to make sure we’re on the same wavelength and see if things improve from there first. On the other hand, I’ve been stuck with doctors who aren’t willing to listen to my concerns and give me what I need, and I don’t want to fall into that trap again (ask me about the thyroid debacle that went down last year).

Are you avoidant? Have you ever had to break up with a doctor? Tell me about it in the comments!

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One thought on “Breaking up is hard to do.

  1. I hope you figure this out, whether she is the right one for you, or that you find a better fit if you need to

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