The “Oh Shit, I Cried at Work!” kit.

major depression, rapid-cycle bipolar disorder, self-harm

The authoress, looking rather dour with her collection of red pens.

It’s one of the Deadly Sins for a young professional but lately, I seem to be spending a lot of time crying in my office with the door closed. I suppose it’s to be expected, given the depressive relapse and all, but I dislike weeping away the makeup I applied that morning (in less than ten minutes–ask me how!) Last week, it became pretty obvious that something had to be done, and since I can’t magically fix my brain chemistry, I decided to whip together a kit that would help me put myself back together–visually speaking, at least.

I picked up the magical box and all the swag it contains at Dollar Tree, because I feel like a quick fix shouldn’t cost that much.

The Kit’s contents

My Kit contains:

  • One compact, which I desperately needed anyway because I’m vain and am also prone to smudging my eye makeup when my allergies flare, and I don’t always like taking the time to walk to the actual bathroom.
  • One mascara. Dollar Tree makes the best mascara I’ve ever tried, no lie.
  • Black liquid eyeliner, which actually came in my Birchbox this month–score!
  • Lip stain, to make myself feel extra-pretty even when I feel like a rotten bag of ass.
  • One eye shadow palette. Supposedly, browns/reds are supposed to make blue eyes “pop.” It usually just makes me look like I’ve been crying and/or haven’t washed my face in forever, but I’m willing to give neutrals another chance.
  • A manicure kit. I work with giant stacks of paper all day, which makes me rather prone to hangnails. I’m not a nail-biter, so my options were to bite the bullet and purchase a kit to keep in my desk or risk having to suffer until 5:00 with raggedy nails and cuticles.

I’ll probably add to it at some point, but in the meantime, it’s there if I need it and contains the basics. I’ve been depressed for over half my life now and went through an abusive relationship in my late teens, so I’ve gotten pretty good at not completely messing up my makeup every time I cry. But sometimes, I’ll get a smudge or end up crying off just enough of my makeup that I walk around for the rest of the day mortified that my face is bare.

Are there any fellow at-work criers out there? I feel terribly unprofessional when I do it (because it probably is), but sometimes you just can’t stop the tears, you know? Additionally, does anyone have any tips for not crying that they’d like to share? I’ve tried the looking-up trick, but that only works about 50% of the time for me.

Here’s a gratuitous shot of my desk (and photographic evidence of my monstrous sweet tooth) because I can’t think of a halfway decent conclusion to this post.

Picture cube featuring some family (my late great-aunt, my husband, and our cats), John Lennon cup, migraine meds, my hemp lotion (which I swear by), and the quail-shaped aftershave bottle my best friend gave me a couple of years ago

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2 thoughts on “The “Oh Shit, I Cried at Work!” kit.

  1. I used to cry at work all the time. It happens, unfortunately. I always used to use Urban Decay Cannonball mascara, avoid eyeliner if at all possible, and carry my eye cream with me at all times. (The skin around my eyes used to get really dry.) My kit had Rosebud Salve, redness relief eye drops, a white eyeliner (line water line with white to reduce redness) as well as a moisturizing facial mist and a decent concealer. I hope things get better for you, sweetie.

    1. Surprisingly, my eyes don’t really get red when I cry, though my lids get a little bit puffy sometimes. Most of the redness is under the eyes for me, but a white eyeliner pencil might help with that too, right? I really appreciate you sharing the contents of your kit! I’ve heard great things about Urban Decay but man, I just can’t bring myself to shell out the money for it (though I really want to try some of their stuff). The Rosebud Salve also sounds intriguing…looks like a beauty splurge may be in order soon. :3

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